stars aligning & a sea of yellow

I probably started the draft of this entry back in September or October, when I was diving deep into a rocky period of wrestling with the uncertainties of my circumstances and exhaustion from daily defeats. "Here I am! This is where I'm at!" is what I caught myself saying pretty often in a sarcastic tone. Realizing that I wasn't in the right place to think through anything in a healthy way, I decided to hold off on writing anything down and closed both my Blogger tab and my physical journal. Weeks of mini identity crises turned into months of feeling out of place, unsupported, and forgotten. I couldn't formulate into words what was going on in my head, and I couldn't figure out what to do with myself.

But the thing is, I'm a doer. I'm not the best at just being. I'm also very present-minded (which is one reason why journaling isn't exactly my forte), so I made up my mind that the only thing I could do was to obey the Lord and be faithful to whatever it was that He had placed in front of me—because our God is an intentional God.

And guess what? He done did it. He really blew me out of the water, as always.


my sunlit nook

I have only about a month left in my current apartment until I move into my own studio. Despite the fact that the central air system failed miserably at reaching my bedroom, I very much enjoyed living, working, and resting in this safe haven of mine over this past year. If you know me well, you know that I highly value safe spaces in all senses—physically, emotionally, relationally, spiritually—and this room kept me quite safe throughout the ups and downs of my 22nd trip around the sun. And, as I have spent the majority of my time in this room during quarantine, I wanted to specially document and cherish it on my blog.


springtime magic in philadelphia

Hello, world!

It's been about two weeks since I began my self-quarantine amidst the current COVID-19 crisis. Earlier this month, I went on a few short walks near my apartment to clear my often cluttered mind. During those walks around Center City, I was finally able to find and appreciate the flowers that I had been yearning for throughout the cold winter. I'm sad that we're unable to fully enjoy all of the beauty that spring has to offer us while this quarantine lasts, but I'm learning to cherish the fleeting joys and remember that this is only a temporary pause for a much, much greater good.

To maximize these short amounts of time outside, my creative bud Kai and I decided to dress our best and take photos with the delightful sights we happened upon as we strolled around our neighborhood. It's an interesting thing—we walked along the same exact streets that we would usually take to go to the grocery store or commute to work, but somehow we marveled at each sidewalk corner and every quiet alley in such a way that seemed like we were tourists in a new city.

So, I think it's safe to say that I'm falling in love with Philly all over again.


when we live in the moment

Sunday, October 27th. It's taken some time for me to flesh this out. I'm still not sure if I've consolidated everything that I'm feeling... but here we go for now.

It's already been one whole year since you breathed your last and left this world to be with our good Father. One year since I read the text from my mom and started sobbing uncontrollably in front of a group of people I didn't know quite well at the time (today, many of them are near and dear friends who are like family to me here in Philly). One year since I sincerely learned the values of vulnerability, life on Earth, and death in faith. As Nora McInerny worded in her TED talk on grief—we don't move on from those we've lost. Instead, we move forward with them treasured in our hearts. It's already been one whole year, but to this very day I'm witnessing more and more of the imprint you made down here.



Seeing peak fall foliage in New England has been on my bucket list for a really long time, and I was finally able to check it off last week. What started as just a wild thought in my head ended up becoming a spontaneous day trip to Connecticut with three very willing friends. This trip was a simple and refreshing getaway, but it was also a wonderful reminder that anything is possible when you actually act on your crazy ideas and be a teensy bit more bold! Impulsivity isn't always a vice ~

I was able to fill up a disposable that day and got them processed—this is autumn in Connecticut through a small 35mm camera. It was so, so incredibly beautiful.